What are you willing to work for?
Early this year, I was inspired by a colleague of mine who got her black belt in karate. It is such a massive achievement that takes so much time, effort and consistency...over years. Truly amazing!
I asked my husband if he wanted to get his black belt in some form of martial arts. He said absolutely, that would be amazing. But...
I am not willing to work for it.
Essentially, he would love to have the blackbelt, the knowledge and skill associated with such an achievement. But was not willing to put in the years of effort to get the black belt.
I see this often with clients - they want to lose weight, but don't want to consistently change the way they eat or move. They want a healthier and happier gut but don't want to stop drinking wine and eating cheese each night. They want more energy during the day but are unwilling to go to sleep earlier each night. And more importantly, do these things consistently.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes
As the year comes to a close, many of you will start thinking about new year resolutions, changes you want to make or things you want to be better. I know I will be doing the same. But as you think about what you want to be better or different - you equally need to ask yourself:
What am I willing to work for?
What am I will willing to change?
Where I am willing to be uncomfortable?
Where am I willing to be consistent, adaptable, yet ruthless to make it happen?
Where am I willing to fail, but then pick myself up and try again? And again?
Healing is not linear, it is not taking one step forward each and every time. Some steps are easy, some are harder. Some are small and some are big, some are painful, some are rewarding - yet each step is getting you that much closer to your goals.
Yes, you need a plan, accountability, tools, support - but first off, you need the mindset to do whatever it takes to achieve the goal.
A tool to help you is the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. He talks about what habits are actually and how to make them work. The Valley of Disappointment is especially eye-opening. And we have all been there, I assure you :)
I have no doubt that you can achieve that goal, that change...if you are willing to consistently, ruthlessly work for it day after day after day. Set yourself up to succeed by asking not just "what do I want to change" but also "what am I willing to work for?"